Needs Cancer

some part of me wanted her so bad.
i cant sleep at night.
some other part wished she was with someone else.
so i can move on with my life.
this part of my life is as scarifying as hell.
every time i tried to get close to her.
she bend over and started to run.
every time i try to loose her.
she's like a shadow stalking me from behind.
what kind of life is; when ur afraid to move on;
thinking someday that shadow reveals and we become one?
i guess my wish has come true.
prayed for a highway.
one with no holes.
folded and scrapped.
that's how i am now.
what scares me the most about breaking up;
we might loose each other in those turns.
the junction that separates the chemistry between us.
taking from us the hope inward.
and yes may i say.
He's looking down on us with irony.
as the power of our mind crushed like an infected cell.
this cancer.
death.
only.
can separate these feelings.
death.
only.
can make me rest.
shadowless.
but not as happy.
happier may be.
really?